Happiness

Stupid. Like that also fun. -.-

I looked forward to sitting next to you for a damn long time, and you go against my only rule in my entire life. Make people happy.

You're supposed to be my friend. Not some sort of person wanting to make my life a living hell. You see, I have a selfish reason for making people laugh. It is a guarantee, it proves that the darkness, the sadness in my life isn't my fault. That I can't do anything about it, because if I could, it will be successful.

But once you get this pissed at me, I get worried. I know you're joking. But still. Is that a good joke? I don't think so.


Haiz.


Softball didn't go well either. Why must I be so afraid of ground balls? All I can imagine is them bouncing and breaking my nose or squashing my face. It's highly improbable, but it's a fear. Fears suck. People always tell you to get over your fears, always telling you to cheer up, to raise your head to the sky and be brave.its easy to say, but it's hard to do. Fears stick to you like gum on the bottom of your shoe. Even when you think it's gone(and it'll take a LONG time to get it off), there will always be a little bit left.

Now how do I deal with all of this? Well, I have a little secret. Kay, maybe it isn't REALLY a secret, but it's a straw filled with delicious blue rasberry honey. I think I'm addicted to them. It's just that when you eat them, you forget all the bad stuff, you can only concentrate on that heavenly sweetness, that soothing taste slipping into your mouth and down your throat. You just feel so contented, and even for a little while, you can't feel despair anymore. So is it such a bad thing? See, it's got coloring and flavoring, but it can't be all that bad. Right?

Well, today sucked. Hopefully tomorrow will be better :/